The Courage to be Disliked Reflection

Most people walk through life convinced someone else is holding the cards.

They obsess over “How does this person feel about me?” as if their value, their direction, and their identity sit in another person’s hands. When you think like that, you stop living. You start performing. You bend yourself into shapes that weren’t meant for you, just to keep the peace or stay chosen.

Kishimi and Koga break that illusion cleanly: separate the tasks.

Your life, your choices, your growth — that’s your territory.

Their reactions, their opinions, their projections — that belongs to them.

Once that separation hits you, the whole board flips.

You realize you’ve been holding the cards the entire time.

And that’s where change gets real.

Because change was never meant to be a performance to win approval.

Change is a discipline of the self.

People can change with you — but nobody will change for you. If they try, it won’t last. If you try, you’ll lose yourself.

Some people evolve and end up walking beside you.

Some evolve and drift into a different path.

Both outcomes are natural. Both are clean. That’s how life moves.

But here’s the question nobody wants to sit with:

Would you trust someone else to shape the kind of person you’re becoming?

Do they know your mission?

Do they know what price you’re willing to pay, what demons you’re fighting, what future you’re building?

Or would they sculpt you into something that fits their comfort… not your purpose?

When you hand someone else the authority to decide who you should be, you chain yourself to their fears, their limitations, their preferences. You stop growing toward your destiny and start shrinking toward their expectations.

That’s the trap behind

“How does this person feel about me?”

You’re not actually asking how they feel —

you’re asking for permission to be yourself.

And you don’t need permission.

Change for yourself, not for others.

Not out of fear of losing someone.

Not out of desperation to be liked.

Not to be chosen, validated, praised, or accepted.

Grow because your spirit demands it.

Transform because your purpose requires it.

Walk forward because staying still insults the man you’re trying to become.

The right people won’t need you to twist into a safer shape.

They’ll meet you at your level or rise with you.

The wrong people will fall away — and that’s not a loss; that’s clearance.

You don’t control who walks with you.

But you control the direction you walk.

And in this life, that’s everything.

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